Kiaski family bids farewell to Buka Oskie
By JANICE R. KIASKI, Staff writerI write this Sunday column on Wednesdays.
So today's thoughts were actually committed to the computer screen on Oct. 22, ironic in two ways.
It was 15 years ago that my dad died, which in retrospect is a span of time that's considerable salve to soothe the sting of having lost a loved one such as a parent.
But it's also just two days since the extended Kiaski family gathered to lay to rest Stella Agatha Kiaski, the mother of three, including Better Half; the grandmother of 10; the great-grandmother of 11; and my mother-in- law.
Her death at 91 after many years of not having enjoyed a healthy physical quality of life that many of us take for granted did not come as a complete surprise and yet, the finality of a life on Earth ending shocks the senses just the same.
Her family gathered to grieve but to laugh, too, as they congregated at her house from Steubenville, Massillon, Zanesville, Weirton and North Carolina.
True to tradition, everyone came to her home, better known as "Grams' house" or to "Buka Oskie's" or to "Stell-ahhhhhhhhh's" done in an animated imitation of Marlon Brando's character yelling out the name in the 1951 movie classic "A Streetcar Named Desire."
Her house was an easy place to be, especially for children. If you weren't allowed to jump on a sofa or a bed at home, chances were good you could experience such leniencies at Buka Oskie's house. Or you could create a tent out of all the blankets and pillows you could find, constructing it right smack in the middle of the living room. It was never any big deal that things got messed up. Not a problem. If anything, she'd be right there in the middle of the tent.
Yes, there was always entertainment at hand, courtesy of a grandmother who was more than accommodating when it came to playing a game of Candyland or cards - skat, euchre, Polish poker, 99, you name it.
No matter how many adults circled and stood around her kitchen table, there was always enough room to play cards, a "tinkle cup" in the center to collect lost quarters and await a winner's pocket.
If there weren't enough real chairs for everyone, a board stretched across two chairs worked just fine for additional seating. Ditto for coolers.
We sat around the table doing that very thing this past weekend, a table where she would have glanced out the kitchen window to observe generations of children enjoying the ride down her hill on a flattened piece of cardboard or scrambling to find the most hidden plastic Easter eggs.
And it's the same table where food that only Buka Oskie could make was served and savored, all of it her dishes that can't be duplicated. Fried dough. Cabbage rolls. Meatloaf made with half pork, half beef. Perogies. Sauerkraut and wild mushrooms. Lemon cookies. Chop suey. And plain old iceberg lettuce with minced onions and a perfectly mixed dressing made with five ingredients: Accent, oil, vinegar, salt and pepper. Good eats.
Stella came from a big family as one of six sisters outnumbering the lone brother in the Phillips household. Ironically, my mother and Stella grew up only blocks apart from each other in south Wheeling, a discovery made at a grandchild's birthday party when we were filming festivities and doing a little family history interviewing in the process.
Small world indeed.
Stella's life revolved in a small corner of it, surrounded by a family that loved and enjoyed her.
She was funny and frugal, kind and compassionate, one who dispensed wisdom at random and advice on request.
More importantly, she loved and was very much loved.
And now she's very much missed.
(Kiaski, a resident of Steubenville, is a staff columnist, features writer and copy editor for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times. She can be contacted at jkiaski@heraldstaronline.com.)
